I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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