Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
