Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize