i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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