idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize