carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize