youre lurking in front of me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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