I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
