accomplished twins. life is a go
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
