Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
