What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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