Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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