you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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