How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
