There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
