Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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