i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
