So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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