I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
