Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize