My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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