I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
