what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
