Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
