I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
