"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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