her vagine was all disorganized.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
