cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
