i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
