everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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