he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
