We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
