it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
