is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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