I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
