Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
