i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
