The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
