Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
