I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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