What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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