Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
