Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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