Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
