We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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