I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
