i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
