i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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