I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize