I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
