Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
