Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Damn victory sex feels great
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
