I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
handjob tips. give me some.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
