That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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