My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
