she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize