...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize