why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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