so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
