Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
